Slightly Less Boring Default

Today’s Asinine Law is brought to you by the Hungry Horses™ Foundation, which I’d like to note does not exist to my knowledge.

Marshaltown, Iowa: It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants.

Recently, I’ve been having this biting feeling that something terrible is going to happen. Not to me particularly, I mean globally. It’s just this creeping uncomfortableness that sits at the back of my head.

Perhaps… I’m being watched by a duck?

Ryan

Oh, hey. This thing.

Right here.

…Yeah.

..Sorry.

Not much to say here, but I’ll try to get active with my blogging again. Also, happy 2010 to all, so says I on February 9th.

Ryan

Perhaps I’ve gone insane, or perhaps I’ve found the most awesome phobia in human existence.  Either way, I think we all might get a kick out of this.

Anatidaephobia is defined as a pervasive, irrational fear that one is being watched by a duck. The anatidaephobic individual fears that no matter where they are or what they are doing, a duck watches.

I don’t know who to thank for this phobia’s existence, but it made my day.

Ryan

Yesterday, I received a frantic message to turn on CNN, as something was happening. Having my television nearby, I clicked it on and turned to Channel 44. Sure enough, I see what looks like a UFO skimming through the air. It’s just a large helium balloon, but the headline is what catches my attention.

“Six year old believed to be inside balloon.”

I don’t know if this is a case of bad parenting, children doing drugs, an accident or any combination of those things.  All I know is that they had about ten cars beneath the balloon chasing it all over Colorado until it landed.  No six year old inside.  I’m not sure how it ended, but the kid was presumed to still be at home hiding under his bed so he wouldn’t get in trouble for losing a valuable balloon.

The father now has to deal with grounding his son, grounding his other son for lying that the first son had climbed into the balloon and paying off the law enforcement for wasting valuable resources in a wild goose chase.

Kudos, CNN.  One of the most strange stories ever aired.

Ryan

It’s evolving.

(Video was removed, but it was comprised of a boy blindfolded tossing a log in to a recycled bin. He takes the blindfold off, hands it off to his brother. Brother one sets the projectile log at the feet of brother two, takes a second log, places a wooden board on it to make a teeter totter. Brother two throws the log, hits the other end of the teeter - totter. The other end of the board lifts and cracks him in the nuts.)

Ouch.

Ryan

Genius.

Ryan

Yesterday, I woke up when it was still darkish outside to the cat peeing directly through the sheets of my bed on to my leg.  Needless to say, I was not impressed.  I attempted to clean it up with a special pet spray to no avail.  I was getting frustrated at this point.  Not only that, I discovered our fluorescent black light that we bought apparently does not detect urine like it’s supposed to.  I went immediately to washing my sheets.  I had no breakfast, I was tired and felt like I was going to vomit from the smell of the chemicals.  It was a horrible day.

Today I woke up with a twinkle in my eye and a smile as bright as the sun.  I snuggled in further to my clean, fresh bed because it felt amazing. My father tells me he’s going out to pick up tacos, a wonderful cold front has blown in and cooled my room to perfection and that I’m going to go see a movie today.  I take a shower, I’m feeling absolutely wonderful and I come in to my room to write this blog post.

In comparison, I’d take day 2 over day 1 any time.

Ryan

Oh.  My.  God.

Ryan

Professor Kirchhof here to explain spacial physics in a nut shell.

Take four very, very strong rods.  Place said rods in four different places to make a square, but place them trillions of miles apart.  Attach very strong trampoline fabric to these four points, pull it tight.  Take a bowling ball and set it anywhere on this fabric.  The large indention around it represents the indention in the space - time continuum.  Roll a marble to the side of this indention.  One of two things will happen.  It’ll curve and keep going in a different direction without slowing down much (assume there’s no friction) or it will curve and go in to orbit around the ball for a while.  You’ve just demonstrated an asteroid veering off course or an asteroid turning int0 a moon.

Now, this was a planet on a two dimensional plain.  Imagine these planets on a three dimensional plain — aka, trampoline fabric all around.  It creates a gravitational field in all directions.

Let’s go back to our two dimensional plain.  What happens if the fabric rips?  What’s on the other side?  No one knows. You’ve got yourself a miniature black hole.  In a three dimensional environment, since it’s rip in all directions, it will suck things through to God knows where.

Ta - da, quantum spacial physics.

Ryan

P.S:  Yes, I know the image is a bit awry.